Cut to the quick...

"I got a new hair in a new place today."

Oh dear god.

So I asked: "Where?"

He smiles.

"Somewhere you can show me?"

He nods.

"Do you want to show me?"

He nods. Pulls his arm out of his sleeve. Raises arm.

For a moment, I had a fleeting thought that he had imagined it and I was about to give him bad news. No indeed, you do not have an armpit hair. But there it was. A singular hair. Staring at me.

At home I grabbed my phone. Texted Rachel. Her answer: "Pluck it." Brilliant.

He was having none of it.

PLUS - today was the sex talk at school. He told me they discussed the three kinds of sex: regular, anal, and oral. Wait till he finds out the rest of the kinds.

Tomorrow they have three more hours of sex ed. I expect hiim to come home with a full beard and a broken hip.

Somebody get me a drink.